Day 1.3 Prayer

So my plan as of yesterday was to wake this morning at 5.

That

Did

Not

Happen

...

HOWEVER:
I felt very inspired last night to not rest, to not watch TV and un-wind while my husband took one of our two girls with him to run some errands and price check at Target.  I CLEANED UP quite a bit.

So when I crawled into bed at 12:30 AM and watched a bit of Huell Howser I could not conceive of waking by 5 AM.  Sure I could do it, but then it would lead to me crashing and getting 100% off track by the middle of today -and that's not the point!

So I woke at about 7:40 and THANKFULLY had ample quiet time to read my Bible and pray and read some more.

I chose to read from one of the Gospels and found myself in John reading Jesus prayers before being arrested.  (Fitting because it is almost Easter and I had prayed before opening my Bible today that I would know from the words of the Bible more about God's love for me.)  I've been insecure about feeling loved in general lately, so this is a definite need!  I was moved by the words, "I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (John 17:26)  I prayed right there for Jesus to bring to fullness this promise in me -to continue to make the Father known to me!  I never want to stop learning, experiencing and coming to a more solid knowing of my maker!  

Then I came to a point when I read in John 14:13-14:

 "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, 

so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  

You may ask me for anything in my name, 

and I will do it."

Once before I was very moved to ask for something in Jesus' name that seemed impossible.  And I had a miracle gift only a day later.  I believe in praying in Jesus' name and I believe there is power in doing so, but reading these verses coupled with John 17:11 ("...by the power of your name, the name you gave me...") I felt renewed in this facet of my faith.  

Knowing that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, knowing it is His will for me to live an abundant life, knowing that it was for freedom He set me free and that there is power in His Holy name I prayed!  I prayed and prayed with a sincere longing and belief for change.  I prayed for His provision and power to change my life.   I am believing another miracle awaits me!

In renewed strength

On the vine,

Rhiannon

 

Developing the Plan

It's not easy confessing my junk.  But it is so freeing.  I think it is so freeing because it removes the burden of having to ignore, deny and hide it.  And until I face my junk I cannot work to clean it up.  I cannot change my life unless I am willing to take an honest look at what needs to be changed.

My house is a mess literally and metaphorically. 

I have a list of excuses a mile long (some of which are pretty good!).  But the truth is they are just crutches that are not helping me at all.  In fact, they are keeping me from walking out this life the way I  desire and the way I need to be walking it out.

I NEED A PLAN! 

Keeping in mind the things that challenge me the most here's my rough-sketch plan:

I know that I am a morning bird and a night owl (odd huh?) -but not much more than a lazy lion seeking a nap in the late afternoons.  I know that it is the time of day I am most likely to fail to meet expectations, fail to be productive and fail to be a consistent Mother.  Clearly it's not the best time of day to schedule heavy-thinking tasks or things that require lots of responsibility.  

I also know that I am grumpy, disorientated and much less productive when I don't have ample time to myself to get my head ready for the day.  When I wake up to my children demanding milk and TV I am almost doomed at that point.  Trying to have quiet time with God, trying to figure out my day and trying to just wake up will be challenged in every way with two little ones who are loud, demanding, distracting and quick to create chaos.  (They are children, it's part of who they are and I need to honor that and stop trying to fit them into my schedule.  It is not fair for them and I never feel better about trying to exert my needs over theirs -no one wins, no one is happy and not much is accomplished.)

Things I desperately need to change (and fast!):

• I need to keep a cleaner house
• I need to spend more time with God in the mornings (and of course all day long too)
• I need to make my daily routine more defined and more managable
• I need to incorporate daily exercise
• I need to manage our family's money much better and meal plan and such 
• I need to be more active/interactive with my children generally and specifically about God
• I need to be a better wife -I need to be a better helpmate, a better friend to my husband and I need to make his home more peaceful and enjoyable
• I need to be a more intentional friend
• I need to a more intentional servant for God (I need to find and work on a ministry for Him/in Him)
• I need to learn how to be more honoring to God and dependent on Him and in the Spirit for the big and little things of daily life

So for now:
I know I need to be waking up MUCH earlier than I have been and getting done major tasks that will equip me and empower me to make the changes I so desperately need! 

I will start tomorrow!  I plan to wake by 5 am (or sooner).

Big Plans for Big Results

Recently I took the DiSC assessment.  And found out "officially" I am unique.  I scored high in three of the four areas, which I was told only 5% of the population do.  I learned that I scored highest in the area of "Conscientious" which means: 

• Slow and critical thinker, perfectionist.
• Logical, fact-based, organized, follows rules. (<--this bullet is only about 50% accurate for me)
• Don't show feelings. Private. Few, but good friends.  (<--this bullet is least true of me)
• Big-picture, outlines.
• Ask 'Why?' and 'How?'

  I also scored high on the areas of "Steady" and "Influential" and that means I am highly social and loyal, but have trouble with time management (so very true for me!).

So I am taking the results of my assessment, what it all means and working with the Spirit to make it all come together to help me figure out how to get on the right paths for my life.

My weakness in planning and then executing plans is that I am a slow, methodical, examine all options, day dream, mull-it-over, then dream again kind of planner.  In essence I love to plan to plan, but never get very far...  I can also be a perfectionist.  I seriously can get my sink spotless, even the water spots on the faucet buffed off -extreme perfectionist like.  But an odd thing about me is I can then walk away from the kitchen with a dirty floor and junk on the counter tops.  So I easily don't see the forest because I stare at one tree too long.

Another weakness is that I struggle with wanting to try everything, and cannot make up my mind!  I am very often indecisive.  And so I get stuck in day-dream-mode and don't get very far.

So I need to work backwards, from the results I want/need and then how I can achieve them.  Otherwise I know that I'll get stuck on day one of planning.

In my next posts I will write out the results I need and want.  I know that planning this way is helpful to most people and not just day dreamers like me.  So if you are reading this because you too are looking to make big changes I suggest you work backwards as well.

On the vine,
Rhiannon