Developing the Plan

It's not easy confessing my junk.  But it is so freeing.  I think it is so freeing because it removes the burden of having to ignore, deny and hide it.  And until I face my junk I cannot work to clean it up.  I cannot change my life unless I am willing to take an honest look at what needs to be changed.

My house is a mess literally and metaphorically. 

I have a list of excuses a mile long (some of which are pretty good!).  But the truth is they are just crutches that are not helping me at all.  In fact, they are keeping me from walking out this life the way I  desire and the way I need to be walking it out.

I NEED A PLAN! 

Keeping in mind the things that challenge me the most here's my rough-sketch plan:

I know that I am a morning bird and a night owl (odd huh?) -but not much more than a lazy lion seeking a nap in the late afternoons.  I know that it is the time of day I am most likely to fail to meet expectations, fail to be productive and fail to be a consistent Mother.  Clearly it's not the best time of day to schedule heavy-thinking tasks or things that require lots of responsibility.  

I also know that I am grumpy, disorientated and much less productive when I don't have ample time to myself to get my head ready for the day.  When I wake up to my children demanding milk and TV I am almost doomed at that point.  Trying to have quiet time with God, trying to figure out my day and trying to just wake up will be challenged in every way with two little ones who are loud, demanding, distracting and quick to create chaos.  (They are children, it's part of who they are and I need to honor that and stop trying to fit them into my schedule.  It is not fair for them and I never feel better about trying to exert my needs over theirs -no one wins, no one is happy and not much is accomplished.)

Things I desperately need to change (and fast!):

• I need to keep a cleaner house
• I need to spend more time with God in the mornings (and of course all day long too)
• I need to make my daily routine more defined and more managable
• I need to incorporate daily exercise
• I need to manage our family's money much better and meal plan and such 
• I need to be more active/interactive with my children generally and specifically about God
• I need to be a better wife -I need to be a better helpmate, a better friend to my husband and I need to make his home more peaceful and enjoyable
• I need to be a more intentional friend
• I need to a more intentional servant for God (I need to find and work on a ministry for Him/in Him)
• I need to learn how to be more honoring to God and dependent on Him and in the Spirit for the big and little things of daily life

So for now:
I know I need to be waking up MUCH earlier than I have been and getting done major tasks that will equip me and empower me to make the changes I so desperately need! 

I will start tomorrow!  I plan to wake by 5 am (or sooner).